Our First Anniversary
I say a lot of things I never do. I never got the Vespa I wanted and may never will. I never took my sister mini-golfing like I promised. I wanted to be a zookeeper, but I let my mother bully me into something else. I said I was going to quit engineering, and I never did. Hundreds of art projects go conceived, discussed, and unstarted. My intentions for exercise never quite make it off the ground. Owning and caring for a Corgi was a dream I always talked about but never really expected to happen.
In 2009, after struggling with a festering depression for over two years, I thought about suicide quite often. On a warm July night, I broke down and thought seriously about ending it all. I ended up on the beach with a shovel and I dug a hole until I grew exhausted. I decided then that I would seek help. Seeing a therapist and being fed medication did little to alleviate the dark cloud surrounding me. I slept, and when I wasn’t sleeping, I tried to succeed at a field I despise—and when I wasn’t doing either of those things, I thought about nothing. I was changing my diet, attempting to exercise without aggravating an injury from the previous year, switching medicines, seeing a therapist twice a week, and yet nothing seemed to help. Then, I decided it was time to do something I wanted to do for a change. I wanted a Corgi, and God help me, I was going to get one.
I exhausted the internet to learn about Corgis and dogs in general. I learned about puppy training, dog breeding, dog food, and dog health. I made lists of things my dog would need, when he would need them, why he would need them, and how much they would cost. During these hours, I felt rejuvenated. For once, I was doing something I wanted to do without the approval of my mother or my friends, and I was doing it to the best of my ability with much more enthusiasm than you would expect from a chronically depressed teenager. My therapist, my friends, my family, and, most importantly, I noticed that my mood improved drastically. I was still on medication, but I was happiest at my computer absorbing all the knowledge I could about my future dog. Before I even knew who he was, he pulled my head above water and made waking up a little easier.
A year ago today, I brought him home. I’m without medication/therapy and have been for some months. He saved my life. He’s more than a dog—he’s MY dog, and I cannot be more grateful for him entering my life. No amount of cookies could show him how much he means to me, but he knows, I’m sure. Sometimes, I still doubt this is really happening. He’s a literal dream come true.
I love you, man.
You're the sweetest, most caring animal I know.
I'm really proud of you.
Here's to many, many more years with the best dog I could ask for.
Comment
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Comment by Steph Bussema on May 18, 2011 at 9:49pm
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I have also struggled with depression for years. Since graduating, I've been looking for a job but not having success. Being home alone all day was really hard and my depression got worse and worse. I had wanted a corgi for a long time and shortly after I convinced my husband to get one I found a breeder close by who had an older puppy and we brought her home only a few days later. Shortly after that everyone started to say that I seemed so much happier than I had before. I have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I take her on walks around the neighborhood, I take her to the dog park, I get out of the house. She's been such a joy and a blessing. It's amazing what dogs can do!
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Comment by Ne on May 18, 2011 at 11:53am
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That's a great story you have. The little Corgi's make our life so much better I say.
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Comment by Judi, Dawn, Soffie & Griffyn on May 18, 2011 at 10:11am
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Hi Rachael and Waffle,
We've been a bit absent from mycorgi lately. But how clearly I remember reading your first post in which you shared your list of all the things you'd need and how much each would cost. It was fun for us to be a part of your journey leading up to the day Waffle came to live with you. And to see how you became more and more knowledgeable on the subject of corgis! I love all your fun drawings, and the stories you've shared. You and Waffle are an amazing team!!
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Comment by Geri & Sidney on May 18, 2011 at 3:52am
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What a wonderful post! :)
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Comment by Natalie, Lance &Tucker on May 17, 2011 at 2:41pm
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Rachael, reading your story made me tear up. I am glad that you had the courage to go and seek help. I am sure that wasn't an easy thing to do. You should be proud of yourself for recognizing you needed help. I am so glad you found Waffle, way to go!!! Happy 1st Anniversary and wishes for MANY, more to come!!!! :) Love all the pics of Waffle too, so cute.
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Comment by Amber and Kirby on May 16, 2011 at 10:39pm
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yup, my little kirby saves me everyday :)
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Comment by John Wolff on May 16, 2011 at 6:39pm
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Funny, how they control our minds and make us become the person they think we are.
We all need someone to live up to.
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Comment by Bob and SparkPlug on May 16, 2011 at 6:38pm
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Awesome! Thanks for sharing your story. We wish you many years together.
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Comment by Sondra on May 16, 2011 at 6:23pm
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Your story touched my heart.. Happy Anniversary to you and Waffle, wishing you many more happy years together!
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Comment by Teresa Gilpin on May 16, 2011 at 5:16pm
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I love your story and your pics! Waffle is really beautiful!! Corgis are truly gifts from God!!
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